So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize