We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
