Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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