it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
areolas are like halos for boobs.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
