i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize