i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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