Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
