Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
