I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
