i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
