like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
