I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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