I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
