She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
