You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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