i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize