Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
