That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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