in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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