finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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