never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
