did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
