and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You ruined the universe
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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