You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
His hands were made for my vagina.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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