can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
