Dude my mom stole all your condoms
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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