Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
