Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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