i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
