Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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