I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
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Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
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U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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