Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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