i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
