You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
whose parrot is this?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
