Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
