I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
