i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
