Nicole vs. Life
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
