This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
