well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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