..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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