I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
