we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
