I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
too bad you live with your parents still
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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