would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
