alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
