Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
