How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
