seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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