my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
