We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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