Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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