Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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