After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
