woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
