So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
