Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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