I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize