I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
foreskin is a definite game changer
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
