have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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