alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize