You're so nebulous sometimes
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize