that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
