just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
